K-Dub and I had a conversation yesterday regarding where we’re headed.  He mentioned something about how he’s afraid of commitment (aren’t they all?), but he doesn’t like to be alone, so he talks to a lot of women.  Okay, playa.  He then went on to tell me that he’s not ready for a relationship.  Interesting, since I dubbed him as a “play thing” last week.  Seems like we could be on the same page. 

But then he went on to mention that should this thing between us turn physical, he wouldn’t want to share me with anyone else.

To clarify, I said, “So you don’t want to share me, but I would have to share you?”

His response:  “No, we would have an understanding.  An understanding that we’d just be with each other.”

So I said:  “So we’re just with each other, but we’re not in a relationship?”  Meanwhile, I’m dying laughing at the whole situation.  He went on to say that it gets complicated and we’ll just have to deal with it when we get there.  Uh huh.  No wonder I’m single…boys are insane!

I met this guy online a few years ago, we talked on the phone, but for whatever reason never met in person.  We’ll call him K-Dub, since those are his initials.  Not to be confused with Kendra from the Girls Next Door, but a more manly K-Dub. 

He emailed me a few days ago and we started talking again.  He still seems cool and he’s still cute, so I agreed to go out with him last night.  We both wanted to see Saw VI (for the romance factor I suppose?), but he was concerned that wouldn’t give us enough time to talk.  Wait, who is the girl here?  But we went, no less.

Anyway, I was immediately comfortable with him.  He held my hand during the movie and when we walked out, he gave me a quick kiss on the side of my mouth and hugged me.  Tight.  He didn’t want to let me go.  He started kissing my neck…yowza.  He asked what I was doing afterwards…I said going home to pack for my trip.  He asked if I needed help.  Hello, fork in the road.  Sure, I wanted him to come home with me, no matter how much my mind kept telling me it may not be a good idea.  But, then I remembered.  Aunt Flo is visiting.  Evil bitch.  Decision made.

As I went home alone, I started thinking about this dude and where it could go.  I don’t necessarily see it as being anything serious, but he would be a nice play thing for me though.  He’s 4 years younger and is REALLY cute.  6′2″ yummy as well.  Hmm.

Oh well, I’m leaving town tomorrow (Vegas baby!), so we’ll see what happens with K-Dub when I get back…like sands through the hour glass, so are the days of our lives…

My mom had a dream last night that she was holding a baby.  He was about a month old and she was looking into his eyes, watching him in fascination.  He was my child, so she began wondering where I was.  She looked up and realized I was holding the baby’s twin sister.  HUH?  I love my mom, but I hope she’s not right that I’m going to end up with twins.  I’m just adjusting the idea of raising one baby at a time on my own, so the idea of two is a little scary!  I’ll love them no matter what, but yikes!!

I asked a guy out today.  Well, sort of.    We’ve been talking online…it’s not really a dating site – more social networking.  He’s cute.  He’s also unemployed, just like me.  So I asked him to let me know if he wanted to go for coffee or Diet Coke sometime — something cheap where we may have a coupon.  Yeah, that’s how I roll.  Take a number, boys.

But it felt good to have the confidence to ask him out.  Maybe I’ll ask out the gym hottie someday too.  Why not?  What’s the worst that could happen?  He says no and I find a new gym?  Big deal!! 

I kind of like this confidence thing…I’m gonna have to create more of that.

Country Boy was going to call me this morning to discuss whether I was coming to his flag football game, whether we were meeting for lunch or just watching football this afternoon.  Um, almost 2pm and my phone hasn’t rang.  I love it when men turn into chicken shits.  Ah well, as they say, I just wasn’t that into him.  Next!

Something else has been stewing in this crazy mind of mine.  I’m unemployed.  I’m starting a business.  I already have 2 clients!  2 clients aren’t enough to pay the mortgage, so I do need to get a job, albeit part time or full time.  Oddly enough, I may have a job offer.  Not in the industry I’d like, BUT I know the people and they’re GREAT!  It could be part-time or full-time if I want.  I’d have insurance and up to 3 weeks vacation per year.  They’d pay for me to get my certification so I could do additional work for additional $$.  I like $$.  AND, here’s the kicker.  After a training process of a few months, I could work from home.  Wait, where’s the bad part in all this????  It is a pay cut starting out, but with the bonuses could be more than I was making.  Once again, where’s the bad?

So this got me thinking further…steady, flexible income; work from home opportunity…it might almost be time for me to start trying to get knocked up!  Yes, there’s no man, but there are sperm banks with a plentiful supply.  I would love my baby to have a daddy, but if I wait for a daddy, I may never have a baby.  Decisions.

I have a date on Sunday.  With a boy.  A real boy.  But…..(you knew it was coming!)……he and I aren’t so much alike.  He’s country.  I’m urban.  He likes to camp and hunt.  I like hotels with nice steakhouses.   So yeah, I don’t really have high hopes for this one…but I’m getting out there, no less.  Although it does concern me that he wants to spend the day together.  I’d be okay with a 15 minute meet-up for coffee.  He wants to have lunch, then watch football (he does like football…that’s the only commonality!), etc, etc.  So if you have my number, feel free to call me Sunday afternoon with a made-up emergency for a problem that only I can fix…alone.

That leads me to the next question – where are all the men hiding?  People tell me I’m a catch and they can’t believe I’m single.  Me neither!  And yet, if I ask them if they know anyone they can hook me up with, the answer is usually one of the following:

1.  “I wish I did.  All my male friends are married.  And all my husband’s male friends are married.  And every guy I’ve ever known is married too.”

2.  “I know a guy for you!  He lives in Antarctica though, so….”

3.  “There’s this one single guy I know, but he lives with his mom, doesn’t have a job and plays video games all day.”

4.  “My son is single!  Oh, but he’s obsessing over his ex-girlfriend who dumped him for another guy.  Such is the life of a 19 year old!”

5.  “Single guy?  Isn’t that an oxymoron?”

You think I’m joking.

Life is funny.  We really should be careful what we wish for.  I wished to get laid off for a year and a half.  I finally give up on the dream of a really good severance and leave for another position.  I’m at the new company for 2 months and get laid off with NO severance.  Thanks, Universe!  Good lookin’ out! 

So I suddenly have some time on my hands to start a business, which has been fun for me.  And it’s weird because, at this point, I don’t really feel like I have time or patience to deal with boys.  They’re just too much drama.  I am working on a plan to have a kid within the next 2 years though…funny that I’m creating a plan when I don’t have a source of income to support that kid.  Brilliant!  Oh well.

So of course, since I’ve detached from boys, they’re crawling out of the woodwork.  Yesterday was insane.  Here’s what happened:

1.  Got a text from a guy I’ve talked to, but never met.  He left his girlfriend and wants me to be his rebound.  Gee, thanks anyway.

2.  Got a visit from Credit Union Guy…totally randomly.  We talked for a minute and he left.  Yes, please leave.

3.  Got an email from the Metrosexual Guy I dated for a month last year.  Just checking in to say hi and see how things are.  Things are good.  Goodbye.

I keep hearing about how September is a bizarre astrological month.  No sh*t, Sherlock.  I’m so ready for October…PLEASE bring better things!!!

The latest drama with 6′4″ is this:  He stops by, without calling (he’s not sure what he did with my number.  Um yeah, you probably got pissed and deleted it, remember?)  Anyway, he stops by randomly last Friday night.  Mistakely, I answer the door.

Him:  Are you happy to see me?

Me:  Um……

So he invites me outside, since I didn’t invite him in.  We have small talk.  Then:

Him:  Go get your computer.

Me:  For what?

Him:  I HATE IT WHEN YOU DO THAT!  Why can’t you just do what I say?

Me:  Why can’t you ask instead of telling me what to do????

So we argue and entertain my neighbors for a minute.  Then:

Him:  I didn’t come here for this.

Me:  Well, why did you come here?

Him:  Oh, I don’t know, because I’m dumb.

Me:  (Inside my head)  Well, yes, you are dumb, but why did you come here??  *Inner giggle because I’m totally entertaining myself.*

Him:  Forget it, I’m leaving.  I didn’t come here for you to be a bitch.

HOLD UP.  WAIT A MINUTE.  I know I can be a bitch, but that’s not his place to tell me I am.  So I called him a jackass and went back inside laughing.  If there was ever any doubt that dumping him wasn’t a good idea (there wasn’t any doubt), I was just reassured.

So, I’m on hiatus for a while.  I’m starting a business, so my focus will be there.  And it’s interesting because I did my tarot cards last night – they said the same thing!  Nothing happening with love, but career changes are on the horizon.  I’ll take it!!  Boys are dumb, throw rocks at them.

Out of the blue, 6′4″ calls me today.  He’s going to be in my neighborhood today and was thinking about stopping by. One part of me says, “FOR WHAT?!?!?”  The other part of me is curious and wonders what he has to say to me.  So I agree to let him stop by – if it works.  I have things to do, he has things to do.  And it didn’t work out, so I didn’t end up seeing him.

But the question is – was he just testing waters or was there something he really wanted to say to me?  Hmm.

I’m training for a Half Marathon, so I’m out and about on the paths near my house.  These paths have a ton of bikers.  Ahem, cyclists.  So during a 5k run, I may see like 30-50 cyclists.  They don’t say much to me, but I’ll get an occasional “on your left!” 

So I’m running yesterday.  (I walk/run combo…but at this time I happened to be running.)  I’m in the zone, as they say, just trying to keep putting one foot in front of the other so I don’t die.  I look up.  Black dude on a bike coming towards me.  Not a normal site – and probably the second one I’ve seen this summer.

So the dude gets closer.  He looks at me and with much enthusiasm says, ‘GOOD JOB!!!!” and gives me a thumbs up. 

Really?  The one black dude I pass says something to me?!?!?  NEVER had a white guy say something.  Hmm.  Must be the booty.