My life, in its current state, is unacceptable.  There is no choice but improvement.   

I went to the Intuitive Class last night and one of the things the psychic always makes a point about is this – we are the only ones placing limitations on our lives.  When we are born, we demand what we want without feeling guilty or undeserving…and we usually get what we want.  But as we get older, we are taught that rewards come with hard work, it’s better to give than to receive and we should be satisfied with what we have because there are people in the world who are worse off than us.  Those beliefs are unacceptable.   

At the risk of sounding conceited, I deserve the best and I deserve every single thing that I want from life.  I deserve love, I deserve happiness, I deserve a partner who I feel passionately about and who appreciates me for all that I am.  And that’s what I’m going to get.  I don’t know how I’ll meet this guy or who he’ll be, but I know for damn sure, it’ll be love at first sight – when I see him, I’ll know it’s him – even if he’s not wearing a sign saying, “PICK ME!”  I’ll get butterflies and it’ll be a romance that is typically only seen in Disney movies – but without the wicked stepmother and midnight curfew. 

Another thing she mentioned last night is that the Universe doesn’t tell time.  There could be things I can’t see working in the background only to be revealed when the time is right.  And with patience and trust, the projects underway could be even better than what I’ve hoped for.  But if I give up now, I may never see it. 

I didn’t feel this way as I left the class last night – in fact, I cried on the way home because I feel so lost.  But I had a dream last night that was a little too real to just brush off.  I was in a room talking to the psychic.  She was telling me that I’m close – give it another 48 hours and just see what happens – look for signs that I’m close, choose to see the potential.  And trust.  I got an overwhelming sense of calm and contentment.  And then I woke up.  At 3:31.  The alarm goes off at 3:34. It’s okay that I’m not happy with my life, because I know it’s going to get better. 

I shouldn’t have to be happy anyway because I don’t yet have all that I deserve.  And let me clarify a little – I am happy with myself.  I know I’m a good person and I know I’m doing the best I can.  So although I’m happy with myself, I’m not happy with my situation.  If I were happy with where I am, what would be my motivation to strive for more?  Again, don’t get me wrong, I appreciate all that I have in my life and I appreciate the people I have in my life, but I want more.  And there’s nothing wrong with that – because I deserve it!